


Pipe Dream

by ParasiteMonarch



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! - All Media Types, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, Ryou's angsty thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 15:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20837717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParasiteMonarch/pseuds/ParasiteMonarch





	Pipe Dream

* * *

Sometimes I wish that Tristan would never stop. Would never say it's getting late.

Would never say we've gone far enough. Or that we should head back.  
  
I wish Tristan would just keep driving. I wish Tristan would never take me back home. To my empty apartment.  
  
That Tristan would take me far away. Would take me to some other city, and give me a new life.  
  
That Tristan would try harder. And be stronger. For me, like he promised.  
  
To protect me.

I know I can never outrun the Ring. _He_ will always find his way back to me.  
  
Because even with hundreds of miles of roads, and bridges, and buildings between us, I can still feel _him_ inside of me.  
  
I know this feeble notion of escape is just an illusion. One that _he_ allows me.

Still, every time, it feels like Tristan might finally pull through and take me there.

I let myself believe when the harsh wind gushes over me, and my hair blows wildly behind me, and I squeeze Tristan tighter, that these things are freedom's embrace.

I let myself believe that he will save me this time.

I let myself imagine looking back, and watching Domino, and Yugi, and revenge become insignificant and disappear into the horizon, forgotten.

Every time, I imagine not having this dread suffocate my every thought for the rest of my life.

And every time, I daftly let that hope consume me.

And every time, Tristan forcefully, painfully retches it out of me.

When we stutter to a halt and I can still see the towers of Domino on the skyline.

When he says we have to go back.

I know Tristan feels bad, feels like he's failed me again, when he drops me off at my apartment.

Because I know I probably look so ungrateful and miserable. And because he tells me he's sorry as he kisses me goodnight.

Sometimes I wish Tristan would feel worse.

For not being strong enough. For not being brave enough.

For not leaving his family, and leaving his friends.

For not giving up his life, to give me the one he knows I deserve after everything I've been through.

For not saving me.

For not being _enough_.

Sometimes I wish Tristan could give me more than just a pipe dream and a fabricated sense of comfort and happiness, but he reminds me I should be thankful I even still have this feigned existence.

Sometimes I think I don't deserve Tristan, and everything he does do for me.

Sometimes I catch myself, and think I'm not as good a person as he thinks I am.

Sometimes I think I'm closer to _him_ than he thinks I am.

Sometimes I blame Yugi. Sometimes I think if he was just gone, everything might be okay for once.

And sometimes I wish I actually believed that Tristan could save me.


End file.
